Family

It's a Sunday morning, and I am in the field with the Mushikanda family. I help them weed around their maize while we discuss family and the differences between families in America and families in Zambia. In his broken English, Mr. Mushikanda asks me how many people are in my family. In my broken Kaonde, I tell him I only have one sister, mom and dad. No brothers. He laughs and shakes his head. He then asks me why so little and I try to explain to him that the smaller the family the easier it is to support them. I continue to tell him about my family, where they live and what they do. Mr. Mushikanda has seven kids, three girls and four boys. His eldest daughter has a child and one of their daughters lives in Shukwe(15km away). Because I am close to his family he doesn't explain this. He just goes on to say that Africans have too many children and they do so because the chances that several of them will die is high. This time I shake my head, but do not laugh. I look around at his kids and try not to think about any of them dieing at such a young age. Zambian families are a lot different than American families, having extending families, multiple wives, and young pregnancies, but even with so many differences there are still similarities.

Extended families. In rural Zambia, many of the women have five or more kids, sometimes with different men. And not only do Zambian parents have to take care of their own children, but other children as well. Some families have kids from their brother or sister come stay with them or even their own brother or sister. Some examples: My host family has taken in my host moms sister's daughter; One of my teachers has her younger sister stay with her to help around the house; The Mushikanda family let their daughter move to Shukwe to stay with an aunt. Also, in Zambia the life expectancy is lower, therefore if the parents die the kids stay with an aunt and uncle. Parents just seem to welcome extra children with open arms because if it was the other way around, they would appreciate it as well.

In Zambia it is normal for a man to have more than one wife. In some cases this may be due to a religion, if you are related to the Chief and are a senior headman, or because some people just want to have more than one wife. My host dad recently became a senior headman, and having this title makes him entitled to have more than one wife. Therefore he recently got himself a second wife. The retired headteacher at my school has a second wife. Every other weekend he travels 40km to see his other family.

In my area, it is common for young pregnancies. Many of the young women in my community have already one or two babies. But talking with one of my village friends, this didn't used to be the case. In the olden days, young women would attend a month long ceremony to learn things about being a women before she had a child.


Although there are a lot of differences between Zambian and American families, there are still similarities. In both, there is a need to come together, there is love, there is loss, there is divorce, there is marriage. We are all just people, living a life in a different culture with different beliefs and values therefore the family dynamic is different. Being in Zambia though has reminded me what being part of a family means. It has made me value what I have in America and how special my family is and how much I miss and love them. And I love talking about my American family to my Zambian friends because I am connecting my family in America to my family in Zambia.


Later in the day after helping the Mushikanda family, I go to there home to have lunch with them. We start talking about differences in the food between America and Zambia, while I look around at part of my Zambian family. Because since coming here, I have developed another family as well. The people of Kawama.

(Miss you and love you Mom and Dad, Sandy, and all my other family around America)!



Also, I hate to ask but if anyone wants to send me a package I would be so great-full. Some ideas include: Clif bars, crystal light, hand sanitizer, pictures, baby wipes (for my hands/face), etc. Thank you, thank you!